Holiday or Winter Blues? Try Dopamine Dressing!

This silk blazer thrifted from Regeneration feels so luxe against my skin!

This is a Love Letter to everyone who struggles with depression, grief, SAD, anxiety, or general holiday blues. As one who has experienced extreme loss and dealt with a few challenges within the last few years, I want you to know that I see you and I love you. You will absolutely make it. The sun will shine again.

I’d like to offer a few tips that will help you through this season and beyond. Guess what? These tips don’t require you to even leave your house or go shopping (if you don’t want to). The only toolkit you need is your CLOSET!

Studies show that a person’s mental wellbeing is informed heavily by the clothing they wear. If this is true, that means that elements of their clothing is what actually affects mental wellbeing.

I want to talk about 3 of those elements. COLOR. TEXTURE. FIT.

COLOR

It’s the surges of energy for me! Color provides a surge of energy that your extra potent vitamins could NEVER (but don’t stop taking those lol)! Being intentional with fashion and wearing purposeful colors will give you an immediate mood adjustment. For instance, if I need a little more energy to complete a project, I'll wear yellow.  Yellow is said to make you feel optimistic, spontaneous and cheerful.  If I'm feeling a little "blah," I'll add a pop of red on my lips or wear a red shirt or dress and viola: I'm all excited and powerful feeling and ready to conquer the task at hand!  If you could care less about the science behind this, just do me this one favor: Next time you throw on a top, pay attention to how the color immediately makes you feel. If you don’t feel a jolt of joy DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT wear it.

Other “happy” or mood boosting colors to consider are: pink, orange, and turquois.

TEXTURE

Clothing texture plays into mood boosting (or the lack thereof). For instance, silk and satin feel amazing against the skin and also gives an individual a sense of comfort and luxury. I literally feel like I’m on cloud when I wear these textiles. I invite you to explore other textures and wear more of what feels good against your skin. Why? If you feel good, you’ll look good AND if you look good, you’ll feel good. *wink inserted*

FIT

The proper fitting of clothes is essential to our mood boosting goal. There is almost nothing more horrible than wearing something that is either too tight or too loose. Having clothing that fits properly cuts down on the decision-making process while getting dressed, making it seamless and essentially cuts down on unwanted stress. Phew. Isn’t that a sign of relief?

Obviously there are many other ways clothes can improve your mood. However, these 3 components are at the top of my list.

If you are struggling with thoughts of suicide or other unmanageable mental health concerns like severe depression, SAD or anxiety, please reach out to someone or text/call 988.

Sultry Lip Season

Me in Rebel by the LipBar

It’s that time of year again! That’s right…it’s Sultry Lip Season and I’m here for it!

Let’s get a few things straight before we dive into some of my favorite shades:

1.) Deeper hues aren’t exclusively for the cooler months! You can wear them whenever you feel like it, because that’s your business *in my Tabitha Brown voice*! However, you gotta admit that richer shades add a hint of chicness, mystery, sophistication, and sexiness to your Fall/Winter looks.

2.) Keeping your lips exfoliated and moisturized during the cooler months is essential! Darker shades tend to show everything, including a chapped lip. WAYOR = Wear At Your Own Risk! Keep it cute and smooth! *wink wink*

3.) Confidence is key! Own the looks you’re giving. Period.

Now, let’s get into some of my favorite Fall Lippies! Of course they are by the LipBar! Duh.

Rebel

It’s giving bougie burgundy vibes with a side of unapologetic confidence. Great paired with an all black outfit from your capsule wardrobe. *Click here to get yours!

Bawse Lady

The red for all! The “I do this with no effort” red lippie that pulls everything together, including that black and white dress you’ve been eyeballing. * Click to get yours!

Merlot

The grown woman lipstick. A sweet grown woman, nonetheless. A bit vampy, but still life-giving! * Click to get yours!

These 3 shades are in my top 3! I’ll be sure to share more of my favorite Fall/Winter lip choices soon!

*I am a LipBar Affiliate and receive a monetary reward from your sale/support. So, thank you in advance for not only supporting a great company, but supporting me.

I'm Done with Leopard!

Me, still confident, BUT not feeling this LEOPARD at all…LOL

Before you tell me:

“Denitra, leopard is a neutral!”

“Denitra, leopard is a classic!”

“Denitra, I just purchased a new leopard piece!”

…let me please explain. I have NOTHING against leopard. NOTHING!

You’re right, it is a neutral and a classic. No, I am not telling YOU not to wear it. Some of you probably saw my Facebook and Instagram posts and thought, “The nerve of her!” Some probably saw it and said, “Tuh, I just got this leopard jumpsuit or dress and I am wearing what I want!”

DO YOU BOO!

As for me, Tuesday was my last day wearing ALLOVER leopard print. I am huge on dressing for how I feel or how I WANT to feel. I am also a huge fan of effortless style. The latter being at the top of my priority list these days. Truth be told, I didn’t feel great in my leopard shirtdress because: 1.) It felt overwhelming and 2.) It definitely didn’t feel effortless. 3.) I’ll always choose style over fashion, and this felt like fashion.

The saying, “Wear the clothes, don’t let the clothes wear you” was on repeat in my head ALL DAY! Ugh. Yes, Stylists, Style Influencers, or Fashionistas have “fails” and mine was on Tuesday.

Again, I LOVE leopard, but it feels so yesteryear right now, even if it is still trending with style indexes and reports and in heavy rotation in retailers. Am I completely done with it? NO!

Leopard and plaid is one of my fave print mixing combos! Photo courtesy of mycurvesandcurls.com

What I am going to do is give some other animals a chance! LOL. I’m also going to reintroduce a few floral pieces back into my paired down wardrobe (I did a full on purge during quarantine). Also, I’m planing to continue my love and interpretation for print mixing leopard with other prints, such as stripes, plaid, and ethnic patterns.

I’ll also continue to accessorize with leopard (scarfs, shoes, belts, etc.), but no longer will I overwhelm myself with allover leopard print pieces (i.e. jumpsuit, dress, …get it? Full pieces…)…at least not for F/W 2020. That’s just me! Who knows, this feeling may be over by December…LOL

Stripes and Cheetah Print

Photo: Pinterest

I know, I know…and it’s ok to not agree with me! However, I would at least like to challenge you to allow creativity to flow. Try (if you haven’t already) some alternatives to wearing allover leopard, like print mixing or wearing just ONE leopard accessory with an unassuming color (like all pink, turquoise or green).

Leopard and Camo

Photo: Pinterest

What trend or type of clothing makes you feel overwhelmed or not your best at the moment?

RICH LOVE - BUDGET WEDDING

At The Inn at 97 Winder

All we wanted was to get married. Neither of us wanted anything to do with a wedding. Our plan was to get married at the courthouse, with two witnesses, and get on to becoming ONE. People were so shocked to learn what our plans were; even our premarital counselor. We’d scheduled our court day and everything. I had the perfect Vera Wang White Collection, plum colored, sweetheart gown and a pink veil that matched perfectly.

Then…

One of our last sessions in counseling, our counselor asked us to think about switching up where we said “I DO’ because he thought that it would only make sense to get married at our church and for our pastor to marry us since he’d known our history up to this point. I was firm in my stance about the courthouse still. Yet, my then fiance’ (now husband) somehow thought that we should consider switching our plans just a little.

You’re kidding right?

Nope. Not kidding.

By this time we also had our honeymoon trip booked so there was no way around a Wednesday Wedding. Great because who is coming to a wedding on a Wednesday at 1PM (the only time that day our pastor was available)? I was happy because, right, who is coming to a wedding ceremony on a Wednesday at lunch time? Perfect! We would still get what we wanted, which was really to get married real quick and go about our happy business. So, in the church chapel it is! A chapel that comfortably seats close to 250 people. We both figured we’d fill maybe the first three rows on each side and that would be about it.

Sike!

As a result, I had to switch a few things up, because I just couldn’t walk down the aisle with a plum colored dress on. I know it would have had to be okay if I did, but that just didn’t sit well for me. Blame the hint of tradition that sits deep down in my soul or whatever.

Still, I wanted to keep things simple and meaningful. So, I found the most perfect evening gown and was all set. Here are the rest of the deets from our Budget Friendly Wedding:

The Ceremony (Approximate Expense $350): December 12, 2018. The day couldn’t have been more perfect. It was mild and the sun was bright all day! It was a Wednesday and it seemed like the world stood still just for us. There were nearly 100 people in attendance, which proved to us that so many people wanted to be part of our day. It was absolutely heartwarming. The ceremony was in our church’s chapel. To me, the vintage style wood was enough ambiance along with tulle bows at the end of the row on every other pew. No other decorations were needed.

With our Pastor (who married us) after signing marriage license

The Wears and Beauty (Approximate Expense $970): I ordered my satin Vince Camuto Gown from Nordstrom.com.! I wanted it to fit perfectly, so I went to their alterations department for tailoring and picked it up from the seamstress the day before the wedding. I know, I know. I was cutting it so close! LOL. It fit me perfectly! I ordered my shoes from Fashion Nova using a gift card (free .99). My birdcage veil was from David’s Bridal and my vintage earrings were from Mama Coos. My husband rented a tux from Men’s Wearhouse and purchased shoes from Macys. Although I could have done my own hair, makeup, and nails I decided to treat myself. I’m glad I did. Stephanie from the Living Room Hair Lounge did my hair the day before, Joy Williams did my makeup the morning of, and I got my nails done at a local nail salon the day before. I couldn’t have chosen a better beauty team. Period! My husband got his hair cut with his barber at Detroit Barber Company the day before our wedding. Boom. We were ready! Oh! I made my bouquet and all the boutonnières and corsages for the family also (we didn’t have a wedding party). That was my way of giving a meaningful gift to them for their undying support.

At New Order Coffee in Midtown Detroit

The Coffee Stop (Approximate Expense $12): After our ceremony, which was at 1PM, we went to one of our favorite coffee shops, New Order Coffee in Midtown, to have some alone time before our private, strolling hors d’oeuvres reception. We ordered our favorite coffees and they gifted us desserts! We sat at the window bar and as people drove by, they honked their horns. That was really sweet. About 30 minutes before it was time to go to our photo session, our friends stopped by to have coffee with us! This was a great time to decompress and to reflect on how sweet our ceremony was and how many people were present with smiles and heartwarming pleasantries. While there, the coffee shop’s marketing manager asked to take our photo and we ended up featured on their IG as the highlight of their day!

The Private Reception (Approximate Expense $1050) : We decided to have a small gathering after our ceremony to celebrate further. We rented the main parlors at The Inn at 97 Winder in Brush Park. We opted to purchase our own menu and setup. Our lovely friends prepped all the food and did the set up for us. It was just beautiful! Charcuterie boards, hors d’oeuvres, desserts, etc. The spread was absolutely stunning and filling! Due to the intimate setting, we only invited our immediate family and a few close friends (20 people max). Unlike large receptions, we had the opportunity to visit with everyone and have intimate moments together. I wouldn’t have done it any other way! Plus the The Inn was fabulous and provided that vintage, luxurious feeling right in line with our theme. We had a photo session with one of our favorite photographers and friends, William Bailey of Allen B. Williams Photography, in the parlors an hour before our reception started.

The Honeymoon (Approximate Expense $1200): We opted for a quick and simple, yet charming getaway because my husband had prior work obligations. NOLA baby! We took advantage of every hour there! From a jazz river cruise boat trip, to several tours, to good eating, to good entertainment, we had a ball! We shopped a little too and had the opportunity to meet many locals and small business owners.

There you have it! Most of our details from December 12, 2018! I’d say that we were pretty close in line with keeping things quaint and simple, considering we didn’t want any of this! LOL. As stated earlier, I wouldn’t change anything that happened that day. It was all a dream come true in our eyes and simply perfect. <3

We weren’t interested in having the biggest, most elaborate wedding. It’s just not our style. We wanted to GET and STAY married. That’s it and that’s all! Don’t get me wrong. I LOVE attending big, beautiful weddings (so don’t stop inviting us LOL).

Cheers to COMMITMENT, LOVE & HAPPINESS…

Here’s a few more photos to enjoy BELOW (click right arrow to see more):

…THEN check out our feature in Blac Magazine that has more of our wedding details:

https://www.blacdetroit.com/people-places/wedded-bliss-denitra-townsend-and-orlando-gregory

Quarantine Survival Guide

My online presence is slim to none these days. I literally felt my breath being taken away each time I scrolled my timeline (FB in particular). Today I am OK. I feel energetic and engaged just enough to share what I’ve been doing these days. During this quarantine, it’s been a challenge for me to keep “situational anxiety” to a minimum. However, the more I institute each item listed below, the more I am well enough to find the strength to keep on keeping on.

Let me also say this: Everyone’s strength, focus, survival, devotion, fortitude, coping skills, grief, productivity and everything in between IS DIFFERENT. Let’s continue to respect those differences while remaining aware and sensitive to each other. Pinky Promise?

Here are a few things I am doing to stay sane and healthy these days. I hope it helps someone:

1. Constant Communication with GOD - this is my lifeline. It is where I cry out whenever I want. It is where I exhibit my gratitude and cast my cares. It is where I intercede for the world and for my aunt who is fervently fighting in ICU (she is progressing daily - thank you Jesus!). It’s where I can be exactly who I am and vulnerable and weak and gain the strength and courage to continue fighting for myself, my loved ones, my friends and even strangers. It’s called PRAYER. If you don’t know what to say or how to even begin, start with this: Psalm 23.

2. Worship Music - Tasha Cobbs Leonard, This is a Move and Jesus Image Choir, Way Maker has been on repeat on YouTube.

3. Bible Study - Lead by my husband has been amazing. He misses ministering at the prisons and seeing the men who are incarcerated (please pray for him and the men who he is passionately carrying in the spirit). We’ve definitely established our Home Church away from our Church Home. If you are alone during this time, you can still read your Word. Consider subscribing to a daily devotional like YouVersion (app).

4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation - this is an exercise that reduces stress and anxiety in your body by having you slowly tense and then relax each muscle group. If you don’t have a therapist, check out TherapistAid.com for other exercises and guided therapy.

5. Yoga and Walk Away the Pounds - I am restricted at this time from strenuous exercise, but these two exercise programs (YouTube) are amazing. Remember, physical activity of any kind aids in stress reduction and contributes to great mental health. Also, don’t feel pressured to sport your best workout gear! For me, wearing my “house leggings” with the thigh hole helps me stay humble and grounded. LOL

6. Fresh Air - I step out on our balcony (with my mask on) to soak up a little sun and to get some fresh air. It is really refreshing and helps combat the “closed in” feeling.

7. Herbal Teas - Since I’ve had to give up coffee last summer (I tried going back to it a few weeks this Winter and it didn’t fair well with me…wahhhhhhhhhhhh), I’ve been enjoying teas. During this quarantine, I am drinking Burdock Root, Chamomile, Green and Ginger teas). You’ll be surprised at the benefits of herbal teas. It’s especially good to consume them hot/warm.

8. Balanced Diet - I don’t know about you, but when I’m stressed I don’t eat. For some, I know stress has the opposite affect (sorry). Therefore, it’s important that I am getting the majority of my nutrients through my food. Green, leafy veggies are among the foods that you MUST consume for a healthy gut and ample vitamins to keep your Immune System in tip top shape.

9. Communication with Family and Friends - I am used to being able to touch, hug and see expressions! During this quarantine, it has been essential for me to remain somewhat present for my family and friends and vice versa. Video chats, texts, etc have been God-send during this time. Be sure to keep the lines of communication open even if its a simple text that just says “hi!”

10. RHOA - Listen balance is important to me! Period.

Style as Crisis Therapy

Working from home can sometimes seem routine, lonely and boring, especially for the creative entrepreneur - even if you are an introvert!  I have a home office (that I share with my husband) and its great, but sometimes I just need a "booster" to keep me motivated and focused.  I'm very style-focused and I am motivated by interesting aesthetics and my home office has to continue to stimulate me.  I am also convinced that fashion plays a very important role in productivity and well being.  Don't believe me? 

Try these three suggestions out and thank me later:

Rock a Blazer

Even if you do have on joggers or leggings, try wearing a blazer…

If I'm not meeting anyone physically or virtually, a blazer just adds that layer of power for me.  It pulls everything together (even if I'm in pajama bottoms and my tee from the prior night lol).  Call me crazy, but it's like putting on a super power cape!  Heck, if you need more motivation, just rock a cape!  I'm just saying. According to top psychologists, adding a blazer adds a feeling of "getting stuff done" and improves time management significantly.  

“Kick” it Up a Knotch

Your favorite kicks or fancy shoes really provide a super power!

Your kicks (shoes) really do make a difference.  Especially if they are fresh fresh! LOL. I feel extra and cute and fancy if I have on a pair of spectacular shoes.  Again, when we take the time to wear things that make us feel good and important, those feelings spill over to our work performance. I know you’re just sitting in your home office, bed or sofa, but wearing a great pair of your favorite kicks or fancy shoes really does provide a super power! Also, depending on the color, you are providing yourself with "therapy." Why not make the therapy intentional? 

Color Therapy

I love giving myself surges of energy using color in my fashion choices. I also add different pieces of colorful decor to my office and move them around accordingly.  Being purposeful with my placement, I settle certain colored pieces in eye sight.  For instance, if I need a little more energy to complete a project, I'll wear yellow.  Yellow is also said to make you feel optimistic, spontaneous and cheerful.  If I'm feeling a little "blah," I'll add a pop of red on my lips or wear a red shirt or dress and viola: I'm all excited and powerful feeling and ready to conquer the task at hand!  For the state that the world is in currently, it would not hurt to add a little blue to your nails or even a piece of furniture in your home office.  Blue has been proven to make you feel safe and relaxed.  Seeing the color blue creates chemicals in your brain that are calming.  We all need that!  

Stay wise and healthy…AND STYLISH! My prayers are with you all.

I'd love your feedback and additions. Feel free to comment and share!

Girls Unite- Thank you Elizabeth Warren

Girls Unite Tee and Pleated Leopard Skirt: H&M

It was February 4th. I was still undecided, but leaning towards Elizabeth Warren. I met a friend at a local cafe’ and we brought each other up to speed about our health, our love lives and what we were doing in our jobs and businesses. She revealed that she took a political leave from work to strategize for Elizabeth’s campaign. Wait. Let me give her her props. She was operating as the Senior Strategist for the campaign. She talked a little about why she was passionate about this work, texted me some info about EW plans and then invited me to a Black Women for Warren brunch that weekend.

It was at that brunch that my decision to support EW was solidified. Between the powerful and super intelligent women who spoke on her behalf, to the other attendees input, to her plans that spoke loudly to this girl, I was SOLD. Period.

I’ve always believed that my VOICE was vitally important and this campaign and those involved, especially my friend, Ms. Senior Strategist, turned that up several notches. I also believe that the use of my VOICE, my way, encourages others to get involved or at least become more educated about policies and programming that affects them and their communities. So, when I was presented with an opportunity to host an event powered by the campaign, I jumped on it. Black Creatives and Culture Shifters was what we called it. We decided that we would feature four Detroit Creatives to discuss what Black professionals, creatives, and entrepreneurs in the city needed from our elected officials, what we could contribute and how our practices and convictions aligned with the potential President’s plans.

Me w/esteemed panel of
Black Creatives and Culture Shifters

I further learned more about EW’s career and where her passion came from when developing her plans. Speaking of plans, I felt that her plans were the only ones that were workable, logical, and fair. I learned how brilliant she is and how she had more in common with US than any other candidate. She had a stake in this y’all. Her fight was for working people. It was for the “underdogs.” It was for women. It was for those who feel that education is the cornerstone of success. It was for prison reform. It was for people who need adequate medical coverage. It was for racial and economic justice. AND THE LIST GOES ON. Basically, it was for the majority of Americans and most didn’t even realize it…because “she was an old white WOMAN who looked too much like a school teacher than the president.”

March 3, 2020 at Eastern Market during private meet and greet.

What I love most about her is the aspiration she gave girls and women. Sexism, just like racism, ain’t going anywhere (we shall overcome someday?)! However, she provided a glimmer of hope and proved “that’s what girls do.” Girls run for president. Through her campaign, I got to share my voice. my way, to influence mainly women to confidently take up space, spread ambition, and continue to shock the world by surpassing ceilings that were made to oppress and not progress.

Elizabeth’s loss was our win (per se). She leaves on the trail, albeit deferred, a yearning for what is good and right. She leaves permission to fight for what’s equitable. She leaves a residue of perseverance. She leaves a unity among women to stick together and support each other. She leaves pinkie promises for at least 4 more years.

GIRLS UNITE!

Style and Profile Responsibly

My little sissy, Achaia, wearing the skinny vegan leather pants, graphic tee and BCBG jacket with leather trimming from the Salvation Army.

By now we’ve all heard the term Sustainable Fashion. Of course it’s not a new thing but it has become more of a conscious effort lately.

What is Sustainable Fashion, exactly?

Sustainable Fashion is a movement of fostering change to fashion products and the system towards greater ecological integrity and social justice. It is often referred to as Eco Fashion. In short, the movement encourages less environmentally harmful options, such as using more fibers and dyes that aren’t harmful to the environment and less consumption that may lead to more landfill waste. (Wikipedia)

Thrifting is an excellent way to minimize consumption, as its simply recycling fashion. A few of my favorite thrift stores are Regeneration, Lost and Found, and Salvation Army.

I am a huge fan of the movement, however I haven’t converted 100% to the cause, to be very transparent. If I’m honest, most sustainable fashion lines are a bit pricey (primarily because they are using better quality materials and skilled workers at a fair wage). Yes, each piece is worth the money! They represent quality and will actually last beyond some of the fast fashion lines easily. So since I’m not ready to transition my closet to all sustainable lines, I contribute to the movement by thrifting!

Achaia wearing Velvet mini skirt, graphic tee that she cut to crop, and BCBG jacket from Salvation Army.

Some local consignment shops and sustainable fashion stores that are also high on my list are: Boro Resale, Detroit Is The New Black, Margaux & Max, Detroit Denim Co., Stef N Ty, The Upper Row and a host of others. If you have your favorites that aren’t listed here, please let me know in the comments below.

Last weekend, my sister and I decided to go to Salvation Army and see how much we could get with $20! Yikes! The day we went, they had 50% off of all purple ticketed items. Well of course neither of us found anything we liked with a purple ticket! LOL Matter of fact, it was getting close to being time to go and I wasn’t satisfied with anything in my hand and decided to put it all back.

But then…

It was almost like this coat whispered my name out of a crowded, huge store full of EVERYTHING! It was a vintage, tweed ankle length, over sized coat with a leather waist belt (and a splendid lining). Absolutely beautiful! I tried it on and it was perfect! A whopping $17.99. SOLD!

My sister was able to get a few more pieces than me. She actually went over our budget by about 5 bucks. Who can pass up a good graphic tee with a saying that speaks to you? NOBODY! She also got a pair of vegan leather skinny pants, a BCBG geometric style, wool jacket and a cute, mini velvet skirt. Yeah, she kinda beat me in terms of the number of items! LOL.

Here are her real thoughts though (Laughing Out Loud): “ You cheated b/c you didn’t get a full outfit lol (well, was I just supposed to buy something that I didn’t love?). It was also stressful for me to stay within our budget and finding something that was fashionable (she went over budget by about 5 dollars).”

P.S. I hope this has encouraged you to at least think about ways you can contribute to the movement (if you haven’t already). Obviously, sustainable and slow fashion could have been a longer post, and maybe someday I’ll have more to say, but let’s start here, shall we?

The vintage coat that I scored from Salvation Army, paired with distressed jeans, fedora and slit booties from home.

A Seat at the Table: You Can Sit with ME!

At Seat Detroit in co-working heaven!

It’s important to me, now more than ever, to take up space in a community that's looking less like me everyday. I’m not begging for ANYTHING; I’m creating opportunities for myself. I realize that some aren’t quite this bold and so I’m here to take the hands of those individuals and cheer them on and offer as much support as I humanly can. That, I know for sure, is one of my purposes on this earth. Support doesn’t always mean money, either. You know that. If it did, then well…

YOU. CAN. SIT. WITH. ME.

Seat Detroit

I’m just a coffee-loving, wrap-dress wearing, heel strutting, combat boot sporting, loving to empower the next chick gal, who happens to also be a softy with a heart and burden for women. Oh, wait, I’m a wearing the same jeans over and over sista, too. LOL

Ok, I’m back.

I love what we (WOMEN) can do for one another, but mainly what we can do WITH each other. I’m an introvert, which is often confused with being “stand-offish.” Listen, I’m just intentional so I know early on what’s what. Meanwhile, I’m still grabbing hands and locking forces with some true BOSS BABES! The least suspecting ones are my fave. We will blow your mind every time. Check for us.

Meeting adjourned!

Seat Detroit Conference Room

So imagine the heart throbs when I finally got around to visiting Seat Detroit. Seat Detroit, located in
Eastern Market, is a culture of networking, innovation and fun. A space for entrepreneurs, startups, and freelancers to create their own seat at the table. It’s a co working haven and has offices and meeting spaces available.

Que Roland, owner and CEO of Seat Detroit

Photo by: Danielle, Detroit Dough

The interior design is clean, modern, industrial and has whispers of a vintage and mid-century vibe. It’s bright and inviting. The kitchen has COFFEE y’all! ALL the things I LOVE!

A++++++++++++++++++++++++

I was promptly greeted by Amber, the Community Manager, who was holding the cutest monogrammed coffee mug ever. (This is important lol!) Then I met Que Roland, the owner and CEO of Seat Detroit. I immediately knew that I hadn’t just come to see the space. I knew, from Que’s professionalism and warm spirit, that I was there to embrace her story and to tell mine and that I was ‘bout to be all up and thru there, working and meeting, and drinking coffee, etc. I have to support and I have to encourage you to do so as well. Y’all, I went there looking for space for a meeting and left with something much more important - INSPIRATION.

“As a Black woman, my story gives permission to other women who look like me or women who have goals and aspirations, to sit where they may have otherwise felt unwanted. My space gives that confidence and more,” says Roland. This space isn’t just for women either. There are several male entrepreneurs who have offices and seats there as well.

Before I go on and on about Que and her space, because I can, I want to tell you about a few perks offered this month at Seat Detroit:

• Complimentary 30-minute massage with Fauna Holistic for all new members

• One free co-work drop-in

• Fifty percent off for the 1st month (office space only while available)

Please contact Seat Detroit for more information and to become a member! You will not regret it. Contact info below.

…and if you see me there, pull up a chair and have a SEAT at the table.

YOU. CAN. SIT. WITH ME.

Seat Detroit - Click here to go to their website

1337 Division #204

Detroit, 48207
seatsquad@seatdetroit.com

Fashion Remedy for Winter "Blues!"

Pantone.com

Pantone announced Classic Blue as the Color of the Year for 2020.  It’s said that this color instills calm, confidence and connection.

If you are like me, you’ve created themes that you want to see manifest instead of new year resolutions. One theme I’m working on this year is Expansion in every area of my life.

What does all of this have to do with fashion, you ask?

Take a walk on the wild side ‘wit it! Add a print (or two) with the Color of the Year!

P.S. Send a selfie to Bae ;-)

Incorporate the Color of the Year with a new lippy or mascara! I dare you!

Lipstick: Zoya in Tommy Mascara: NYX Color Mascara in Blue

Well according to top psychologists, wearing COLOR can evoke certain responses or aid in the promotion of positive affects.  It’s no wonder that I was drawn to blues since before the beginning of 2020. I’ve also made a decree to up my level of confidence and meaningful connections, which are also themes that the color of the year are associated with.

“…Classic Blue (Pantone 19-4052) encourages us to look beyond the obvious to expand our thinking; challenging us to think more deeply, increase our perspective and open the flow of communication.”

-Leatrice Eisenman, Executive Director of the Pantone Color Institute

Use of color, planned or not, is quite intentional and can be practiced in fashion, makeup, interior design…you name it! Ever wonder why Target is such a thirst trap? Target knows that Red is a very energetic color! It’s said that it increases respiration rate and raises blood pressure. Guess what? Even if you’re tired and lack energy, you’ll “mysteriously” get sucked into the Target trance. If you don’t want to get caught up, stay away! Y’all know I ain’t lying!

This week, I’d like for you to monitor the affect that your color choices have!

Do you have a big presentation to rock out? Try wearing red! A red dress, blouse, scarf, lipstick, polish or accessories can give you a jolt of confidence, power and victory!  

Want to brighten up your mood or a heavy environment? Try a form of orange. Orange is said to aid in clinical depression. It is associated with joy and encouragement!

Want to get that charming, flirty feeling back? You guessed right! Try a form of the color pink! This color represents self-love. It’s also a color that represents kindness, (just in case you need a little help with that, *wink wink).

These are just a few colors to explore. I guarantee that the results of utilizing color daily to promote confidence, peace, harmony, balance, and other positivity will prove to be quite impactful.

20 MUST HAVES for 2020

GOD. There is absolutely NO way that I can make it without HIM. No shame or no apologies. Believe what you want but I’m a Jesus girl. Period. Try Him or ask me more. I’m just saying.

FAMILY. Last year was a year! From the death of my grandfather, to health issues, to settling into marriage (and yet still settling lol), to another transitional leap…I don’t know what I would’ve done without my family (and this includes friends who are like family).

LEGGINGS. Listen, no leggings aren’t pants (they are if you want them to be obviously), but I’ve now established categories of leggings: House Leggings (the ones that may or may not have a hole in the thigh), Workout Leggings (the one’s strong enough to endure friction) and Public Leggings (the ones you wear with a longer sweatshirt or tshirt or under a dress/skirt or however you choose to!). Be careful though. Due to the stretch, it may be a little difficult to monitor weight gain (if that’s your concern). Did I say THANK GOD for leggings?

FAMILY FEUD. This is my favorite game show. Besides the news and a little ratchet tv and Netflix, Family Feud is really the only TV I watch. I actually wouldn’t mind being a guest on the show. Holla at your girl with the plug.

PLANNER. My tried and true. Y’all can have those fancy organizational apps or even the calendars on phones. Give me two planners for the year. One mini leather one for my purse and one fun one with stickers and all the fixings for home. It’s the only way I’ll remember things and since its been a habit for a long time, I generally refer to it daily to honor time commitments or client appointments.

Handmade Tassels by Girly Girl Glamour

WET ‘N WILD LIPSTICK. Megalast. Bare It All. #902C. Alright so it’s not the most sophisticated brand, neither is it vegan, or organic, but it does the job for my everyday, neutral lip. I’m definitely open to suggestions (but only from you who actually KNOW how great it looks on me and can give me a pretty close replica).

TASSEL EARRINGS. Besides my wood earrings that I wear almost everyday, I love tassel earrings. They are fun and can be worn casually or formally. They also work well with my pixie. Speaking of pixie, make sure you grab your collectors “Pixie Babe” mugs or sweatshirts here.

MY INFAMOUS WOOD EARRINGS. These have been with me for a while and I don’t see them going anywhere soon. There was a point when I’d wear them everyday. Now, I wear them about 4 times a week…so they are still up there! LOL

META PHYSICA WELLNESS CENTER. I visit them monthly for an hour long Sauna treatment. Their saunas are infrared and extremely beneficial. They aid in detoxing the body, purifying the skin, injury healing, weight loss, improved circulation, etc. Plus, it just feels good!

Infrared Sauna

Sweat it Out!

At Cairo Coffee in Eastern Market

COFFEE. I quit cold turkey in July. I had to for health reasons. In the last few months, I’ve reintroduced it into my life, but with restrictions. I’d say that I enjoy it twice a week now (if that). Also, I used to drink it black. Now I have to dilute it with oat or almond milk…but all is well. It’s the culture of coffee that I’ll never give up. Those of you who know, KNOW. I’ve recently discovered a few new spots that I love for their coffee AND aesthetics. I have a little surprise coming up for my fellow coffee lovers. Stay tuned. *insert wink*

MOISTURIZER. This includes eye cream! The difference between a dull face and one that is glowing (prior to makeup) is the proper moisturizer (and cleansing and exfoliating…but we’re just talking about moisturizer right now LOL). Obviously this is an important part of skincare, which every woman should be very serious about. I’ll be doing a skincare post very soon because I’ve encountered women who could benefit from the information.

UNLIT CANDLES. I’m not a fan of candles, synthetic scents at that, but I do find them useful (when they aren’t lit). I use them as closet scents and they are refreshing that way. Depending on the scent and the temperature in the house they provide a pleasant scent that isn’t as potent as when lit.

FUNKY EYEGLASS FRAMES. I don’t have a prescription (except for computer use) so I love trying funky frames. I wear them mostly when I don’t wear makeup or to add a little personality to my wardrobe.

FORGIVENESS. Y’all sometimes forgiveness is not taking things personally (depending on the situation). Read. That. Again. Also, forgiveness destroys the root of bitterness and revenge. I’m sure you’ve heard that forgiveness is more for you than the other party. ‘Tis true.

ME. Last year taught me the true meaning of self care. I know that term is used loosely these days, but true self care is giving yourself what you NEED and DESERVE. This means getting to know YOURSELF beyond the surface. This means spending QUALITY time with yourself and doing the work needed to be the best you so that you’re the best to and for the ones you love and encounter daily.

MONIE NATURALS LLC. I absolutely love their Silky Shea Butter soap. It’s extremely healing and comforting, especially for my Winter skin.

VISION. Having vision keeps me focused and my eyes on my goals. I love the idea of a vision board (hey, be our guest this Sunday at the best Vision Board Party this side of Detroit!) because it’s a visual of things that WILL manifest in my life. Having vision is seeing a thing before it happens so when it happens you’re prepared.

Write the Vision

I always keep my prior year planners. I refer to them often to measure goals, accomplishments, and areas to improve.

WRAP DRESSES. For always and forever. Period.

UNSUBSCRIBE BUTTON. Literally and Figuratively. This started in 2019, but I’m completing the work in 2020! I unsubscribed to a few magazine subscriptions, food delivery, channels, etc. Because…NO! I wasn’t reading fast enough before the next one came in and let’s face it, the 100 recipes from Blue Apron can be put to use by me paying a visit to the grocery store. Hello!

This can also apply to any practice, event, or expectation that no longer serves you. UNSUBSCRIBE honey!

AFFIRMATIONS. The Bible has many that I recite aloud daily. You are what you SAY. I am very careful these days to only speak LIFE into me and my peeps. I am Healthy. I am Whole. I am Enough. I
Can Do Anything. I am Loved. These are just a few. Some seasons, I have Post-Its in my bathroom (thank God for separate bathrooms, by the way lol), Being Mary Jane style, so that I am affirmed first thing in the morning and first thing before bed.

What are you holding near and dear in 2020? Let’s talk!

Make A Statement!

Over the last five or so years, my style has evolved. Not much, but I can definitely pinpoint a few changes: Less accessories, Capsule color palette, and Simplistic Shapes to name a few. I also love textures more. I can accomplish most of these signature looks with one statement piece. So, when I spot ONE PIECE that speaks to my soul, I have to have it!

Statement pieces can take a “normal” outfit and create fabulousity! Trust me.

This is why it was a MUST to get my hands on a beautiful EricKallection necklace! If you’re smart, you’d order yours AFTER you finish reading this post (I heard she has a sale on all necklaces, skirts, etc.).

EricKallection is a design studio that creates unique, custom made clothing and accessories for women and accessories for men. At first glance, anyone can realize that what the studio has to offer is much more than just unique designs. Each piece is made with a passion for fashion and individuality. Ericka, owner of the studio, can be reached via Facebook and Instagram (@EricKallection) to place an order. Make sure you mention ya girl sent ‘cha!

So, here’s my prized possession. I styled it a few ways to give you some ideas for your new Erickallection piece!

White Tee & Jeans

You can never go wrong with jeans and a white tee. This is such a fun, yet classy look. On a day less serious, go with jeans and your collar necklace. Of course, you can wear any color jeans and tee you like!

Camo and Print

I am a huge fan of print and pattern mixes! Why not add some ethnic vibes to a trendy print? While you’re at it, add some texture (hello liquid leggings). I turned my necklace into a pin for this look. Get creative, why don’t you?

Classic

Black and White NEVER going out of style. Also, it goes with everything including print! Go from the office, then add your African Print collar necklace to your outfit and viola, your holiday party ready.

LBD

By now, y’all know Black is my jam! Rock your Black however you choose! A business suit, jumpsuit, dress, you name it! Do you! Your new collar necklace will be the star in many conversations!

Black Love & Business: Stef-N-Ty

Stef-N-Ty Boutique

9425 John R St, Detroit MI

CREATIVITY

COMMUNITY

PRIDE

HISTORY…

…are all the feels when entering Stef-N-Ty. I initially visited the showroom a few weeks ago with a friend who purchased a one-of-a-kind hat, crafted by the wife of the husband and wife team (owners), Stephanie. We were greeted by Ty (husband and co owner) with such warmth and care as soon as we entered (very important to me).

The showroom is on the main level and there are numerous “funky hats” featured and have to be restocked often due to the high demand. They also feature creations by other local makers. This showroom is open to share with a local maker or retailer to “pop up” once or twice a month. This month, Motor City Thrifter is there.

Stef-N-Ty is a destination and there is no other place like it. Located on “John R. Row” (John R) in Detroit’s historic North End, their location and other street level shops are part of the area’s revitalization. Though they have been in business since the early 1990s and have been influential in many other places, Detroit is where magic happens (my strong opinion).

On the top level of the store, this couple has created their own manufacturing hub. The manufacturing hub is where Stephanie does what she does (designs and crafts couture hats that can be seen on the likes of Erykah Badu and of course Detroit celebrities). They actually employ local sewers to assist with the insistent order requests and stock.

Necktie Choker by Mason Tone

My second time visiting, I played dress up a bit. One of my favorite pieces in the store is a handcrafted neck tie accessory that is worn like a choker. I got an opportunity to really study the aesthetic and culture of the store. I realized that the whole place is a work of art. The palette is right up my alley. Neutral, with pops of color. Yes. Then there are Ty’s Painted Poles displayed as decor (they are for sale) on one wall.

Let’s talk about branding, too, for a second. This couple has Stef-N-Ty mugs, jewelry and their own comic books in the show room. Oh. Love Never Looked So Good. This is their memoir about their life, love and business ventures. I could go on and on, BUT you should experience this all for yourself! Take your time to take it all in too.

Thank you Tyrone and Stephanie Dickey for providing a community for creatives and people who need to stretch their imagination. Thank you for representing for Black Love and Black Business. We see you.

My beautiful husband with Ty Dickey (these two clicked like nobody’s business) and a snippet of the store’s coffee bar.

The Sleeveless Sweater

Denitra is my name. Versatility is my game. Functional Fashion just makes sense, ok?

Many people ask me about wearing sleeveless pieces in the cooler months and my answer will always be something like this: “If you’re not going to be outside, you’ll be fine.” Besides, there’s always this thing called LAYERING. *wink wink*

I’m a fan of the sleeveless sweater (or tunic) because you can easily combine seasonal pieces or layer in an effortless way. Since I’m not tall (LOL), my sweater is more of a dress, but you get the point, yes?

Sleeveless

Sweater

Depending on the length you can wear your sweater as a tunic/dress, especially if you own a pair of knee-high boots. Spice up the look with a leather cuff and cool eyeglass frames. Throw on a dark lippie and take this look to the next level. Gone ‘head girl!

Layer with a blazer

Here’s an option for the office or a cute, sophisticated event. Toss on a blazer over your sleeveless sweater, a belt (or harness in my case) and your Pixie Babe mug and instantly add some personality! Click to get your mug here!

Sweater on Sweater

This monochromatic look goes from Librarian to Spice Girl with this black belt, fedora and combat boots.

Tee, Tights, Jean Jacket

Can you say comfy-chic? Can you also say layering heaven? This tee layered under the sleeveless sweater adds versatility easily. Wrap a jean shirt or jacket around the waste for definition and a hint of color and well, you’re all set!

Girl CEO!

Going to a meeting or don’t want to deal with carrying a bag? Sport your Fanny Pack! Click Fanny Pack link above to get your own! Be sure to follow the “shop now” prompts.

Chic Meets Leisure

Chic - stylish, smart, elegant, sophisticated, dashing, flattering, with it, fly…

At 34 days before my 40th birthday, I am interested in comfort more than ever! But wait! I’m not into compromising my style. I still want to be cute, lady-like and sexy! All of these components are VERY important to ME. Period.

Concept photo taken at : The Commons in Detroit, which is a cool laundry mat/coffeehouse/community center. I had a coffee date here with a handsome, salt and pepper hair having man. ;-)

Wood Earrings: Four Chamber Forge Hoodie and Ribbed Midi Skirt: Forever 21 Boots: Jeffrey Campbell

From the last post, you learned that I love “Juxtaposed Fashion” (e.g. edgy with romantic or boho with classic, etc.). So it’s no surprise that my look featured today is a mix of Athletic/Leisure (hoodie), Chic (ribbed, fitted midi skirt) and Grunge (combat boots). I even borrowed a pair of my husband’s dress socks. How they almost perfectly matched my skirt is beyond me. I guess that just means we love some of the same colors!

You’re going to see a lot of Athleisure looks this season, so if you want to join in on the fun, take a lookie at some of my top picks below! You’ll notice that these looks also have a sprinkle of elegance…because to me, that’s the way to DO IT! Remember, the entire look may not tickle your fancy; the point is to take away the things that you DO like and make it your own.

*Photo Credits (from left to right): Hollywood To You/Star Max/Getty Images, Ashley Stewart, Mood Flare, Pop Sugar, and Who What Wear

Trend Alert: Velvet Opulence!

“This is beautiful. What is that, VELVET?” Remember that line in Coming to America? Well that line was no coincidence as velvet originally was associated with royalty and wealth and that was just what Prince Akeem and his family were: ROYAL.

Velvet was first crafted in Egypt and was intricately woven with silk. Today it is mainly made of rayon (at least most of the fast-fashion pieces are), making it affordable and more common. Still, it is considered a very luxurious and elegant fabric that has become highly versatile in styles and shapes.

“From day to night, the luxurious fabric of velvet is such an elegantly versatile texture. ”

I love velvet for its fur-like texture (ohhhh so soft) and sheen. It’s also very fluid and just gives that “stand-out” quality that’s unmatched.

Now, y’all know me! I like options and if I can’t wear anything more than a few ways, I generally don’t buy it!

In this post, I’ve pulled 3 of my favorite velvet pieces from my closet and styled them all with other pieces (now booking for Wardrobe Remix Sessions).

Crushed Velvet Wrap Dress: From church to a holiday party this velvet number is the picture perfect example of luxury and fun (AND FLATTERING)! This Fall/Winter season, give your velvet dress an updated 90’s revival/grunge look with a leather bomber and combat boots! Where’d those earrings come from you ask? Well, my good friend handmade them and they are now available for you to enjoy! Click here to take a closer look and to preorder! Tassel earrings are such a classic and funky accessory and these oversized ones are ideal for short hair, sleek ponytails and styles, and any other style you wanna rock with ‘em! Dare to make a statement!

Ribbed Velvet Bodycon Dress: This body-concious, midi dress screams sophisticated and sexy! The ribbed design adds more texture to the already interesting fabric and the color is one of MINE (yes, I OWN certain colors). I added my husband’s jean jacket for a playful, tomboy-chic look (oversized cuteness). I love “juxtaposed fashion” by the way.

Black Velvet Tuxedo Vest: Black on black is one of my favorites (I obviously picked this up from the beauty industry LOL). The blending of two textures (velvet and mesh) adds movement to an otherwise “flat” outfit. Don’t want to bare your brassiere? Layer a sleek tank instead. Black on black on gold? Fierce! I added some metallic gold leggings to add even more texture (texture mixing) and shine. Layering is an art that I own also!

*Click arrow in slideshow to reveal looks

As always, I look forward to your comments, questions, additions and I’d LOVE for you to share this post.

The Little Black Dress On Repeat!

“The Little Black Dress is and always will be a wardrobe staple! We can now add work and play and every place in between to what was once black tie or cocktail attire. ”

The Little Black Dress (LBD) surely has come a long way! By that I mean its silhouette and style. LBDs were once a go-to for formal wear, but now can be seen in offices, less formal parties and everywhere in between. Not only has the shape evolved, but so has the length and material. LBDs are plentiful and a MUST-HAVE for everyone woman’s closet!

Black, if you haven’t noticed, is one of my favorite colors so I have MANY black dresses! LOL. One that I have been enjoying lately (by lately I mean the last several years) is my Target purchased sleeveless, rib-knit mock turtleneck midi dress. Don’t fret, click the Target link and it’ll take you to one with long sleeves! However, I like the many options that my sleeveless dress gives.

Below, I feature a few styled looks with my LBD. Remember your possibilities are endless! By now, I’ve (hopefully) encouraged you to activate more creativity with simple pieces that you (should) already own, so I’m expecting some great feedback about your looks that you’re rocking out. *insert wink*

Pop of Color

Bright colors aren’t just for spring/summer! This pink fedora from Kaydense Galleria adds a fun element to the sophisticated LBD. Remember, your accessories can take a basic piece from “hello” to “HEY GIRL HEY!”

Moto Jacket

Here’s another POP of color, but a black moto can add a sexy element as well. Don’t forget your funky shoes/boots!

Dress on Dress

Listen, don’t put your summer dresses up (I never do) yet! You also know that I am the queen of layering, yes? Go ahead and layer a wrap (or button up dress) maxi dress with your LBD and give us boho-chic meets foxy vibes when you add a leather belt.

Scarf or Wrap

A scarf is my jam! It can be worn numerous ways (that’s another post for a different day). In this case, it adds a little “meow” and can turn a day look into a night look (or vice versa depending on who and where you are).

"Girlfriending" the Boyfriend Blazer

Major runways have re-featured “menswear” fashion (women sporting menswear was popular starting in the 1920s via Coco Chanel and then took a dip in the 1950s and then back up again in 2010 and has been popular consistently since) world-wide. The Boyfriend Blazer, or an oversized take on the classic blazer, is on the top of the mens-inspired fashion list for women. Due to its exaggerated and loose fit, I like to add some girly sass to balance the look.

Note: A boyfriend is not necessary to achieve featured looks, ok?

…but if you have one (or a husband who is your forever boyfriend *insert sexy wink*), try borrowing from his closet, if possible, to show him how to rock a blazer…your way!

If you want your own Boyfriend Blazer (like I would LOL)…FINE! I’m assuming that most of you fashionistas already own one, but if you don’t I’d suggest checking out stores that expanded the Boyfriend Blazer trend: Gap, Nordstrom, Urban Outfitters or Forever 21. If you want to support the sustainable fashion movement (slow fashion), check out Salvation Army, Value World or other local thrift/consignment spots (in the men’s section).

Here’s how I put a girly spin on the popular menswear-inspired piece:

Fitted Leather

I love the juxtaposition of this look. The fitted vegan leather ensemble balances the boyfriend blazer so well. Add the knee-high boots and faux fur stole and va-va-boom!

CanadianTuxedo

Jean-on-Jean…Yes, please! Again, this fitted outfit balances the oversized blazer. The shorts and chunky pearls add “girly” spunk to an otherwise traditional look.

Trench

The structure of this classic, yet sexy trench dress lends just enough sass for the Boyfriend Blazer to harmonize effortlessly. The contrast between the color of the dress (Pantone calls it Dark Cheddar) and black blazer adds the “pop” this outfit deserves.

Hoodie

This look is for the “girlfriend” who is into the sport-luxe look. A hoodie under a blazer is a trend that’s not for everyone, but it’s not going anywhere soon! Give it a try. Oh! Don’t forget your lace socks and open-toe heels!